SO BAD. SO LONG. clickthrough to read my frustrations

edit: there are spoilers.

here’s a list of what to look out for when you go watch this movie:

• MEGATRON IS HOMELESS. HE IS A HOMELESS ROBOT WITH A HOOD AND HALF A FACE. HE ALSO HAS 3 MINUTES OF FIGHTING WITH 2 MINUTES SCREEN TIME. YES, HE HAS LESS SCREEN TIME THAN IS POSSIBLE.
• they made sentinel prime a bad guy. the leading bad guy, actually
• main girl has gigantic lips. you could kill a fool with those lips. she also screams a hella lot
• it’s 2 hours and 30 minutes with 50 characters and 15 ways to beat the bad guys. they use 0 of those 15 plans.
• this movie not only has CGI, but it has photoshop too. not even kidding, they photoshop sam and they photoshop a space shuttle launch.
• this may sound lame, but they could have nuked the city. if it’s the end of the world as they know it and they’re being attacked by 500 decepticons (which weren’t destroyed in the end btw), why would they not make a last ditch effort and launch 50 million nuclear missiles at the city.
• THERE IS THIS GIANT DECEPTICON WITH 1 EYE NAMED SOUNDWAVE (and i’m pretty sure the only other decepticon to be named is called soundwave too) WITH A WORM. HE HAS THIS GINORMOUS SPACE WORM WITH LIKE TENDRILS THAT KILL EVERYTHING. they spent all their time trying to defeat him (and he has 2 lines).
• optimus prime spends 20 minutes putting on his flight suit, gets caught in some cables, and spends another 20 minutes getting out. in the end scenes, he loses an arm (which is not nearly as emotional as him dying last movie), and defeats both sentinel prime and megatron. he tears megatron’s head off with the spine.
• there is this oil-dripping vulture transformer which can change into anything, anything he wants. he’s a TV, a printer, errtang. it’s not named but it just does whatever it wants and somehow gets killed by sam halfway through.
• starscream has his own 10 minute fight against sam (who takes out both his eyes) and a whole platoon of soldiers. the one-way dialogue sounds a bit like “AH, I FINALLY GET TO KILL YOU. SCURRY YOU LITTLE INSECT. AHHHH MY EYE. AHHHHHH MY OTHER EYE. I WILL CRUSH YOU WOHOHO”
• the girlfriend’s boss. annoying as heck. “suave” guy who thinks that he’s helping to save the world. please, get this fool out of my movie. casting space is hard pressed, and i’d prefer if they didn’t focus on some two-dimensional archetypal social darwinist.

there are more plot holes and frustrating things about this movie that i didn’t mention, but it’s late and you have to watch it for yourself to see what’s wrong with it.

1. larrysturtle said: pwuahah got a laugh out of this one
2. larrysturtle liked this
3. tunadeluna said: Are there spoilers, yo?
4. whapao posted this